Mistress Dee has been working as a dominatrix for six years. She looks almost too perfect for the job – raven hair, snow white skin, an intimidating hourglass – it’s like she was born to abuse. Dee lives and works primarily in New York, but she gets flown all over the world by men who seek her exceptional domination skills. She’s the sort of person who, when asked what she got up to over the weekend, will say something like, “Oh, ya know, I flew to Paris to kidnap a businessman.” Casual. But what’s most interesting about Dee, and her role as a domme, is her ability to bring to life some of the world’s most exceptional and complex fantasies.

Many people think the role of a dominatrix is simply to dominate and abuse people. They don’t realize that often sessions are catered to a client’s specific desires. Would you say your job is to execute you clients’ fantasies’ in a believable or pleasurable way?
Mistress Dee: That’s part of it. There are different kinds of dommes, just like there are different types of lawyers or chefs or anything else in the world. Some dommes feel that the service they provide is to execute people’s fantasies verbatim. Personally, I start by saying, “give me your full list of interests” – this is where their fantasies come into play – as well as a list of their hard limits. This gives me an idea of their mental landscape. So in the session, I don’t only address what they want, but also what they might not even know they want – this gives me the power. But I always have to address enough of the client’s interests that he or she continues to want to play the game – because it is a type of game; it’s removed from reality, which is what makes it BDSM, rather than actual physical or psychological abuse. I can’t completely tell the client to just do whatever I want, because then he’ll never come back to session with me again, and ultimately one of my fantasies is to make a lot of money, so I need clients.

Has working as a domme affected your own fantasies at all?
I’m definitely far less horny than I used to be when I’m going about my normal life. though I never have, and never will, have sex with my clients, there’s still a lot of sexual energy that gets discharged, reabsorbed. It doesn't leave much for me in my personal life. And funnily enough, about four years ago I started to have the inklings of a brand new fantasy – a hankering for the vanilla! Having all of these transactional, intense, filthy experiences with hundreds of different people left me pining for something stable, cuddly, beautiful, romantic... My first reaction was, “Wow, that’s weird, something must be wrong!” But I’d spent enough time having compassion for other people’s bizarre fantasies that I really tried not to condemn myself for it. Actually, it’s pretty funny that the more kinky my job got, the more I pined for something sweet and normal.

What is a common fantasy that a lot of clients come to you with?
One I’m continuously rolling my eyes at is the fantasy of the unassuming man being seduced by the powerful, sexually confident woman. They want the perfect woman – beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, mysterious – to lure them home and then abuse them. The guys with this fantasy tend to be married, usually not in the best shape of their lives, and are past their prime.

You have “lifestyle slaves,” right? So, men whose fantasy is to continually service you, but who don’t necessarily pay to session with you?
Correct. They’re basically unpaid interns and will do anything from drive me to the airport, to take out my air conditioner, to send emails for me. The most devoted one I have has been serving me full-time for two years from abroad in the UK. I have him in a chastity belt, and he’s on call 24/7. He sleeps with his phone on for my calls.

Have you ever had a client come to you with a fantasy so unique that it surprised you?
Yes, I have one extremely interesting client who has very obscure, specific fantasies. He books five-hour sessions. He’s a professor, and he’s so smart that I have to think really carefully about how to outsmart him. Recently, he told me he had a fantasy about me as a Snidely Whiplash character, complete with mustache-twirling, a cloak and a hat.

Gosh, it all seems so complicated.
Yeah, I like to take it to the next level, because for me it’s not about sex, so it has to be about something else. For me, it becomes about mind games and a mental, spiritual exploration. Because being a dominatrix is weird and intense, and it’s certainly still taboo in the mainstream. So, in order not to lose my mind I have to create increasingly cerebral role-plays and fantasies. It’s fascinating to have had a window into so many hundreds of people’s fantasies for the past six years, and a real gift to have been able to act out so many of my own too. Not many people have that freedom.